-miranda bailey
it never hit me before but spm really is coming. i'm not ready, and i'm terrified of the consequeces, and yet i don't seem to be able to do anything about it. what is wrong with me? i need help :(
anyone?
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2009 spm trial paper, english essay:
i knew i had only three months left to live...
I knew I had 3 months left to live.
I knew I had 2 problems. One, in 92 days, my heart would stop. Two, I was about to leave behind the love of my life, and he has no idea what is about to happen.
I knew I had one thing left to do.
* * *
' I have good news,' said Dr. Parker as she entered the room with a smile that couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes.
He held his breath, knowing what was coming but not daring to believe it, afraid he might burst his own bubble.
'It's a perfect match, congratulations John,' said Dr Parker.
He exhaled with relief and smiled. Life really is a play of irony. Everything falls into place, just when you're about to leave the scene. He thanked the doctor, saying, as he walked towards the door that he will see her again next week, at the same time.
'Don't you dare appear any sooner,' she said, as he closed the door to her office.
He looked up the second the hospital ceiling was replaced with blue sky. The sun was a brilliant, blazing ball, the clouds painted the sky in still pictures of rolling waves. The glare burned into the back of his eyes. He liked watching skies. It was a recent habit he'd acquired, to make up for all the times he kept his eyes down, ignoring the passing opportunites, thinking what he had was everything he needed. And it was, too. He had a job he loved, a Porsche that turned heads, even a golden retriever. Most of all, he had Anna.
Anna. He closed his eyes and felt a smile bubbling from within. Anna and John, who would've thought it would happen? They were both such free spirits, neither had ever needed anyone else, until they met each other. They were the most unlikely people to become an item, but that only made it more endearing to him.
She thinks she only has three months left to live.
The thing is, he only had 2 months left before he would go completely blind. And he didn't plan on living without her, his vision or his independence. All or nothing, that was how he did things. This was no different.
The one thing left for John to do: to prove Anna wrong.
* * *
When they say what you never know won't hurt you, they have no idea what they're talking about. I would say 'what you never know won't hurt you, just yet.'
Ever since I found out about my failing heart, my thoughts were only of John. I didn't want to leave him, I knew it would break him. He needed me but would never admit it, just like I would never admit that I was the one who threw his cactus through his window. I wanted to leave without him ever knowing of my dying, this is the one secret I would do anything to keep.
Until I found out his secret – he was going blind. I didn't know when, but I knew it was soon.
I've been there for him in life, why not in death?
* * *
Their favourite song was on the radio, 'If' by Bread. John smiled and sang along, every line a new revelation, although he'd heard it a thousand times. The car was parked in the woods by the lke they once swam in. John looked out across the lake with its reflection of a distorted moon bobbing up and down...up and down...its lines beginning to blur...
“then one by one, the stars would all go out; then you and I would simply fly away...”
John closed his eyes, and pressed the 'send' button on his mobile, the last thing he did with his last breath.
* * *
I am in my car, 1 kilometre away from the cliff. When I pass the signboard, I will let go of the wheel, and put my hands over my eyes, the only part of me that will be saved, to save another. Gruesome as it sounds, I find the thought calming. This body will fail me soon, if it gives John the opportunity to have his body at its best, I would gladly give it up for him.
Which is why I'm here, my foot on the pedal, my eyes on the road, my mind determined and everything is going as planned...when the phone rings.
My foot slams on the brake without thinking. I pick up the phone.
It's Dr Parker.
I have a heart donor.
She doesn't have to say it, it hangs in the silences, a fruit too ripe. The heart is John's.
He knew my secret all along...just like I knew his.
Tears rolling down my cheeks, I back away from the cliff in acceptance.
END.
46/50 :D i hardly write stories, so yeah. thought i'd share :D
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we all get lost sometimes. i lived my entire life feeling somewhat lost.
i like to think its not what makes us weak willed or less determined, it just makes us all too human.
maybe its not about giving in, its about giving.
because when you finally surrender, you forget what you were fighting for in the first place.
why move time so pass?
