Wednesday, December 23, 2009


i just got back from the cinema and


i honestly have not seen such a good movie from hollywood in damn long.

all of a sudden, human life seems damn unappealing.

i wanna be a Navi and have my own ikran, and have the ground light up as i walk and omg humans are damn boring and barbaric and selfish.

i also really liked Trudy. the rogue 1 pilot. SHE DAMN BADASS WEI OMG.

'you're not the only one with guns, bitch.'

wiki-ed it and omg i'm freaking in awe of James Cameron right now.

conceptialisation of a-freaking-nother planet to such detail and creating the whole language and culture of Pandora. is just amazing. did you know it was supposed to be filmed right after he finished Titanic? he decided technology needed to 'catch up' to what it looked like in his mind. that is some character man.

i mean it was just totally engaging, beginning to end.

so if you've watched it, and loved it, VIRTUAL HIGH 5.

if you've watched it, and hated it, to each his own blablabla BUT YOU'RE STILL IGNORANT.

if you haven't watched it, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, LOSER.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

i don't remember you looking any better; but then again i don't remember you

who says - john mayer

i think i'm losing the will to blog, noooooo.

life began at 12.45 :)

and was on pause when i arrived home. mailman at my doorstop with NS letter mch. nice. NEVERMIND. spm over.

ran in and out of shower (yes i shower clean thanks) got out texted 'ARE YOU READY' to the girls and got 'HELL YEAHS'. picked up yy nic chuen and ro and we went shopping at our favourite haunt :)

not telling you wheeere :D

got to brickfields got on monorail (nic's first time, congrats you've experienced the public transportation of a third world country) and forgot to camwhore (what?) okay we did a little but the i don't look good in photos anymore i should learn photoshop

i'mma try using picnik now, thanks ro :D

anyway got there, and ate alright food with watery coleslaw and it poured like mad.

dashed in the rain to get to the other side, only for rain to stop 5 mins later. NEVERMIND. spm over.

bought a bag, 2 dresses, a top and a skirt for about 100. i'm awesome, i tell you.

still not telling you where :D

coming back was kinda chaotic, alot more complicated than getting there. we tried to stuff monorail tickets into putra lrt machines, get onto the wrong platform and almost end up in titiwangsa, force our way into trains more stuffed than pamela anderson's bra (provided she wears one), avoid people who smell like dried prawns, tried to go down ascending escalators, avoid making our dinner appoinment waiting 2 hours

had shit loads of fun :)

AND. i did all that on 3 hours of sleep the night before. ANSWERED 2 CHINESE PAPERS in the morning okay! needless to say,

was dead beat after. had pizza for dinner(so much for chanting 'i will lose weight to wear my dresses') and i almost fell asleep. i would've woken up with pepperoni on my forehead if i wasn't well. awesome.

couldn't get my head around the fact that the pressure is off. mental me is rubbing my hands together and saying, now what?

day of good ol' lazy. woke up in the middle of the day. tried to go out for lunch. lunch became tea. got some stuff, waited for the rain to stop and ordered something neither of us wanted to eat just so we could sit down and the rain stopped immediately after we ordered. NEVERMIND. spm over. did some banking with daddy, came back and the battle began. it was a long hard battle and will last for the foreseeable future. through the sweat, blood and ache, i am at peace with myself because i know one day, with determination, my room will be clean.

and no i'm not exaggerating, its a fucking warzone. and it WILL actually take me a few days to clean everything (plus rewax my floor). and i'm not even exaggerating about the blood, my toenail is crazy mangled and disgusting. half of it has come off and my nail is seriously like chopped. like if i were a microorganism (orgaNIsm) and i was at the edge of my toenail to step forward would be jumping off a cliff. it looks retarded and hurts like mad.

had dinner at ten plus, dimsum (haha the irony) continued dragging a mop across my floor, showered and here i am.

lol you're going ns
and you can drive di
its a wonder you're still alive :D
yeah no i'm deferring. if i wanted to waste my time for 3 months i'd do it at home where i won't die
and i can't drive. my dad's not letting me drive till i'm 40 cos he thinks its HIGHLY AMUSING.

NEVERMIND. spm over.


breakkie with yy and LIMYONGYING/suicidal harry potter. movie, either mulan or zombiesomething i don't even know what or princess and the frog. because jung the self proclaimed vulgar sponge i call a friend thinks its worth paying for a disney cartoon about, well surprise! a princess and a frog. NEVERMIND. spm over.

it'll be great, i know.


pps. wah omg damn long sorry i haven't quite lost the will after all heh.


picnik IS awesome!

who says i can't get stoned.

Friday, December 11, 2009

courage is the triumph of the soul

-anything you want, Jason Mraz


basically its a live album from the gratitude cafe tour. and you know how mraz live > mraz studio :D

all the fuzzy, audience recorded versions of the songs i have from his live performances that i've grown to love are now technically kinda obsolete cos i have the clean professionally recorded versions now :D

happy happy joy joy. i almost feel like i'm there, but at the same time its no where near the real experience, honestly.

i feel like his voice is suffering from overuse though wtf.

how do you download a whole album on shitty connection?
forget to turn off your computer for a day. and a half.
i'm so sorry my lovely hunk.
of metal.

and since we're on this topic i might as well be shot of this.

i want a hula hoop!

and not the rattan kind, these shiny pretty ones!

from one mandy's hoop factory

okay la obviously i'm not that cool, i got it from jason's blog.

it seems they've been taking up the hoops, they hula hoop in their free time on tour and apparently even on stage when they do Butterfly. i think he hoops when he sings how cool is that :D

he. has a knack of finding alot of these quirky, cool personal things.

and speaking of things i want,
off the top of my head, somewhat in order.

monday, 12.30pm to arrive like yesterday
during which time i will get into a car and get out of this place and into shopping :D :D
lots of awesome clothes and bags and shit
great time out with the girls and a boy (there for more than protection, i swear)
(kidding chuen. you know you're the bestbouncerhealthysnacker :D)
two hedgehogs (name ideas being sonic, knuckles, spike or durian :D)

just. to be able to breathe properly in my head again :)



i love you but i'm telling you have too many inner demons! i'm glad you're sorting them out, untangling everything thread by thread (something i can never do to save myself) and finding your perspective in all of it. i just want you to remember in spite of it all, it is the journey that counts. keep your eyes wide open through it all, keep your senses engaged. its good to stop and ponder, like you say we all need assurance from time to time, in the laughter that erupts after our punchline is spoken, in the pauses for thought, in the leaning in of a person to better hear what you have to say. but when you think too hard, or stop to think too long, the average action of someone else to care diminishes to something no longer substantial - in steps doubt.

don't second guess. don't stop to analyse. don't replay situations in your head. don't allow room for distortion. don't let it settle and grow roots so deep its burned into the back of your mind. don't push, but don't let go. instead, keep going, keep remembering it will be okay, keep remembering there are so many people who love you, most importantly that you love yourself. in the eyes of many, including yourself, you are great. you don't take, you earn. you don't hold back, you give. you don't exist, you live. you don't need what you don't have, but you get it because you love someone and someone loves you back. relationships, regardless of what kind, ignite with the crossing of paths and the intertwining of roads. should your roads take you elsewhere, so be it, you have so much to look forward to. and you look forward to it eyes wide, senses plugged in.

in all your efforts, struggles and strife, promise me you will have fun. that you will, from the very bottom of a dark, deep well, look up. promise me you will get soaked to the bone, dart from shelter to shelter, break your heel and scrape your knee, and laugh at your silliness as you dust yourself off. needless to say, i will not be holding back any of my laughter when you recount your stories to me :)

wow, did i really just say all that?


random thought: my blog has shown no sign of activity for too long. mch people you're there right speak up la! no one cares about me anymore is it!

random thought: dled the fame monster too. my conclusion - lady gaga is a very kinky girl (she's a very kinky girl, the kind you won't bring home to mother, she's a superfreak! haha rick james) but she knows what she's doing and she has the balls (pun not intended) to do it and i will spare playlist slots only for her.

random thought: MCH CHINESE DAMN HARD CAN. paksa people to memorise 230 idioms and their meanings and their authors and the books in which they appeared so that we can answer what 5 questions??? don't even get me started on the ancient writings, might as well be reciting german can.


must. keep. going.

one day, one day.

meantime, bedtime.

love-ah-love-ah-love, love-ah-love-ah-love.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

29 years ago today, we lost a working class hero.

Ever wondered what life in the eyes of John Lennon was like?

(actual essay written a while back)

It is a funny feeling, discovering the work of someone who simply isn't around anymore. Can you miss someone you never knew? It is the year 2009, and I'm only just beginning to appreciate artistes like Freddie Mercury, Elvis Presley, The Beatles and others. Although I have only seen seventeen mere rounds of the earth around the sun, I feel like I've gone the distance and back in terms of music experience. No longer do I get excited about pop music, I settle for the mellow sounds of the soulful. I do not live on the hype of multimedia and technicolors, but am fueled by the raw, uncorrupted strum of a guitar accompanied by lyrical genius. I listen to a very wide variety of genres, everything from rock to even classical and opera, because it is not the form that matters to me, it is the substance. Soulfulness is what draws me in, senses engaged.

But I digress. This feeling, when you discover something great but realize you will never get more of it is amazing, enlightening yet disheartening all at once. It's quite like the story of Van Gogh, I guess. His works were only appreciated after his death. Although I am not an art fanatic, I feel like I can relate to the tremendous gain and at the same time the ultimate loss felt by those who are passionate about his work. To me, John Lennon was an intriguing character. His upbringing in a broken family, his rebellion in school which led to his eventual dropout, his starting The Beatles and writing song after song of greatness, even his experimenting with drugs and eventual dropout from the band and society, only to return with twice the genius and twice the love he was known for, up until the day he was shot. He was a flamboyant man whose experiences made up every piece of him, and manifested in the form of his music. He was the definitive working class hero. His musical march for peace was a phenomenon that swept mankind off its feet, and I would have been honored to have been able to witness this.

Many believe John had lost it when he met Yoko Ono, but to me he was only beginning then. He was discovering a new part of him; one that loved when he was being loved, one that forgave his debtors (evident when he wrote the heartbreaking song, 'Mother'). I do not understand what all the fuss was about. If John loved Yoko, why should the world interfere with their ignorance and selfishness? If anything, it probably made everything more endearing to him, being the born rebel that he was.

I would love to have seen John Lennon continue his legacy. Would the world be any different? Would the troops of the United States of America be trespassing the land of Iraq, spreading 'democracy', disrupting the peace in a place they have no claim over, where they were never asked for? Would we let them? Would there be any soldiers willing to fight the battles of a war that isn't theirs to fight, had the songs they whistled while marching across the fields been about peace and love? Would the world be as blinded to the truth as we are today? Would we be as complacent? Would the world be more about giving than selling?

What was life like in the eyes of John Lennon, exactly?

Because some people are different from others, because humanity is a tragedy unfolding, because the good die young, because the truth is constantly swept under the rug, because life is never fair, because the struggle of man will never end, because justice never seems to prevail, because the stars will never align the way they should, because conspiracy envelops every aspect of life, because Chapman was a mentally unstable man in possession of a gun who read 'Catcher in the Rye', because of a million reasons we cannot begin to understand, we will never, ever know first hand.

We can only imagine.

Rest in peace, John Winston Lennon (9 October 1940 ~ 8 December 1980)

* meant to post this yesterday but connection was non existent.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

help me to help myself.

-john lennon

whoever said accounts is a free A should be SLAYED.

because you. are a big. fat. lying. dragon. or vampire. or whatever it is people slay nowadays.

i know i've screwed it up, i know its gone.

and this is what its like to not even hope.

so stop being so happy around me, i can't stand it.

i'm not that big hearted.

rightful, textbook emotion: happy for others.
actual emotion: anything but.

i sound selfish, i'm conscious about it. but i know i'm not a selfish person, i'm a frustrated person.

i'm generally not emotional, i just hate to lose.

even if its something i hardly worked for.


8 down, 3 to go.

if i say it often enough it must be true.

it won't kill me.
it won't kill me.
it won't kill me.

help me to help myself.


on a lighter note, i just realised that

MLIA > FML x100

is it just me or is MLIA alot funnier?

i actually read 3 posts on little kids dissing miley cyrus, all in one sitting.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

whatever gets you thru the night

its alright, its alright.
whatever gets you thru the night - the beatles

history is officially, well. history :D :D

it was like a giant boulder got lifted off of me that i didn't even realize was on me (omg i wrote realise in my eng paper instead of realize i just realized its wrong because it got underlined when i typed it is it a british american thing or is it wrong omg IS IT WRONG???NOOO)

anyway point is, i feel like i can breathe now.

it only hit me after the paper - no history. again. forever. and ever amen.

goodbye kesultanan melayu melaka and the undervalued efforts of jaafar and dasar pembangunan negaras that go no where (masyarakat luar bandar just BANGUN already will you??? seriously!)

GOOD RIDDANCE, now go make the lives of some 4th formers hell :D

get a grip.

'you know when i was studying world war 1 last night, i thought it was ww2, so when i flipped the page i thought there was ww3'

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaahahahahahaha. i couldn't resist.

sorry, spm does things to your sense of humour.

off to hit the wallbooks again. 3 down, 524 to go.

i wanna know what it'd be like
to find perfection in my pride,
to see nothing in the light
but turn it off
in all my spite.
in all my spite, i'll turn it off.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

if this little light of mine combined with yours today

how many villages could we save
how many lives could we illuminate?

graduating class of 09'

thus ends a chapter of our lives.

standing at the crossroads, its unbelievable but true, soon lots of us will part ways.

but we look toward to new beginnings and new experiences. we look toward the horizon and keep going. we look toward what's ahead. we look forward.

and occasionally, we might look back at these memories, each one a bead on a never ending string of pearls and say


in 10 years or so, we so better be reuniting and chilling some place, comparing wages and kids and cars and shoes and hair ah you all.

all you future doctors, be ready to fake all my MCs. all you bankers, make me some money. all you lawyers, prepare me a kick ass divorce case.

all you rich bitches and filthy bastards, just CALL ME :D

in the meantime, see you in school.


SPM, thou art such a royal pain, i long for thee to be over, so that thou may get thy ass out of my sight, and then i shall party til all eternity and never return home again. amen.

in the meantime, because i have absolutely no control over myself, i shall disconnect myself from the internet.

in three,